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Every quarter of a century. That's how long the average person spends worrying about their appearance. This is not a joke, these are research findings. Twenty-five years of our lives fly through our fingers on thoughts like: Am I pretty enough?, do you like my body?, Do I look good in profile?
What if this time was used differently? For example - to really get to know yourself. To like. Or even to love yourself?
This is what we talked about in the latest episode of the podcast Discreet Idea with our guest Anna Kuryłko - a healthy lifestyle coach, a woman who has already helped hundreds of people regain touch with their bodies and inner peace. The meeting, which was supposed to be a casual conversation about acceptance, quickly turned into an hour-long, emotional and reflective dialogue about what it means to be bond.
It starts with a question
„Which part of yourself do you like best?” - I asked Anya as a warm-up. Without thinking, she answered: lips and eyes. It used to be breasts, but, she added, two pregnancies have changed her perspective.
This simple dialogue has opened up a space for the conversation we all need. Because, after all, our bodies are changing. We are changing. Just are we keeping up with this change emotionally?
Toaccepting yourself is not a marketing slogan
In an age where self-care has become just another product to sell, it is easy to get lost. Anne makes it clear:
„Acceptance is noticing yourself as a whole - both the light side and the dark side. It is accepting yourself with tenderness, but also with honesty.”
It's not about feeling beautiful and wonderful every day. It's about stop deceiving ourselves. It's about not pretending that we can't see what hurts us, what doesn't suit us. Because it is there, in the shadows, that the greatest potential for healing lurks.
Mirror of truth
One of the exercises that Anne recommends to everyone is to practice with a mirror. It seems trivial: stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eye and say something good about yourself.
Try it.
Really try it.
It's one of the most confronting experiences we can give ourselves. Because, as Anne says:
„The harder it gets for us, the more we need it.”
Our body is not a problem to be solved. It is our home. But before we settle into it, we often need to clean out the inner rooms: beliefs that are not ours, childhood voices, societal expectations.
The inner critic - the worst housemate
Each of us has an inner critic within us. It is that voice that says: you failed again, you could have done better, you are hopeless.
How to deal with it?
„Don't listen to him. Just stop.”
Anne stresses that the simplest solutions are often the most effective - and the hardest to adopt. Because we don't believe that something so easy can work. Meanwhile, silence in the face of this voice is the first step to regaining inner space.
You can also actively work with compliments. Write them. Say them. Read them out loud. For yourself. About myself.
Victim or creator?
One of the more powerful parts of the talk was the reflection on the role of the victim. Because being a victim gives ... rewards. The accolades. Compassion. It allows you to stay put. But it doesn't allow you to grow.
„The path of the victim is the path of the community. But the path of the creator - the one who wants change - is the path of the loner.”
And although it sounds harsh, there is a certain freedom in that. Because this loneliness doesn't have to be sad. It can be quiet. Intimate. Our own. It is where we learn how to give ourselves what we have sought from others over the years.
Crisis as a gift
Life is not about not having crises. It's about how we respond to them. A phrase was said in the conversation that will stay with me for a long time:
„Crises are like cleansing. The more they flow out, the more we have in us to heal.”
It is beautiful and painful at the same time. But it offers hope: that every breakdown, every difficulty, is an opportunity to change. To know yourself more. More deeply. More truly.
What can you do today to accept yourself?
Start with simple things. A piece of paper. A pen. Five things you like about yourself. And a compliment. One. Then another.
If you can't find five - ask someone close to you. But note: don't comment. Don't belittle. Just accept. It may be harder than you think.
And if you're ready for more - there's a special PDF prepared by Anna in the downloadable article. This is not another guide to positive thinking. It's an invitation to meet yourself.
Self-acceptance is not a three-week project. It's not an Instagram challenge. It's a process that takes time. But there is strength in that process. And beauty. And truth.
„When you stop expecting the world to love you - you start giving it to yourself. And the world responds by doing the same.”
Don't wait. Take the first step today. Maybe all it takes is one sentence. One look in the mirror.
With tenderness, with attentiveness and with acceptance.
